As Americans, we all too often tend to stereotype people. As soon as someone sees spinners on a car, they tend to think “gangster-want-to-be” instead of “honor student”. We see someone on a movie with thick taped glasses and instantly assume he is a “nerd”. Others will look at race and color to get their predetermined ideas of how someone should act. I am just as guilty as the next guy for stereotyping people and not giving them the benefit of interaction to show their “true self.” I do not know what the proper answer is to this problem but I do have my own thoughts about the whole thing. As a man of limited intellect who is trying to keep it simple, I say this; “If you don’t want the public to judge you on your appearance, then let your actions shine as your judgment.”
I was reading Dear Abby today and was floored when I read the following article:
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I married four years ago. My oldest daughter dates my husband's brother and they're expecting a baby together, although they are not married.
Can you please tell me what this child should call me, my husband and our other children? We're confused about it and don't want the child to be confused about who's who. Any help you can offer on this will be greatly appreciated. -- TAMI IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR TAMI: You are the baby's biological grandmother, and your husband is the baby's biological uncle and step-grandfather. Your children are going to be aunts or uncles. Congratulations to all of you.
Well, for starters, I can’t believe that Abby, who is usually an adviser with strong morals, didn’t lay into the woman for the OBVIOUS; YOUR DAUGHTER IS HAVING A BABY WITH YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW!!!!! What the hell people?? I immediately, as wrong as it may seem, envisioned two trailers side by side in a rural Alabama trailer park with both women on food stamps waiting for their government checks. Am I the only one here to stereotype this family? For the rest of you reading who aren’t sure whether this is really an issue, listen closely; This is NOT acceptable behavior by the mother, step-father, brother-in-law, or the daughter. We are not living in a time where God has asked us to replenish the Earth. Some things and people are off-limits. There are boundaries that should never be broken down and rules to follow that do not need to be changed!
What do you think this child is going to endure during school? How hard do you think dating will be for this child? Peer pressure is already enormous and this could easily push a child to his/her breaking point.
For some unknown reason, Abby has decided to spare this woman from any further guilt. So I have prepared the proper response.
Dear Tami: It appears that sadly your daughter’s baby will not have a mother, grandmother, grandfather or father, as those are titles reserved for people with common sense, people that give a damn about what their children and other family members are doing. Because of your failure to institute any morals into your daughter, this child will more than likely live with more shame than that of a “bastard child” referred to in the Bible. Congratulations on screwing up your family! I hope that you will seek counseling for the other children involved, as they appear to be the only innocent ones in this One-Family-Circus. Maybe you will be lucky and the state will step in and remove your other children so they will have the chance to live a normal life instead of the confusing, shameful, environment that you have provided. The only other option I see for your family is to move to the Deep South where some small towns condone and accept these horrendous acts as “normal”.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Five Feet Under
A friend and I were recently discussing what the “perfect” occupation would be for a man’s potential mate. After much deliberation, I believe that dating a mortician would have to rank near the top of the charts. Here are a few reasons why.
1. Your family will never have to pay someone to do their make-up on special occasions. Who could be better suited to “make-up” the family women before those school dances and family photos? This is, after all, a person who is trained to make even the dead look “alive”.
2. I’m not sure exactly how they prepare a body, as I have never been back there to see, but I’m sure it can’t be that different from taxidermy. This being said, if you are a hunter or fisherman, you have a lifetime supply of “freebies” to get your outdoor trophies mounted. If taxidermy isn’t in the realm of her expertise, at least she can make your trophy deer look “as peaceful as if it was sleeping” next to the fireplace.
3. There really is nothing you can do that will “gross out” your mortician-mate. If the bathroom stinks….so what? It isn’t like she doesn’t smell the odor of death throughout the day. I’m pretty sure that you could even forget to flush and she wouldn’t give it a second thought. ( I hear that you soil yourself when you die)
4. Look at the money your family could save during their “time of loss.” Funerals are very expensive, and I can’t think of a better time to get a “brother-in-law” deal.
5. How about those minor emergency room bills you will save on? Having your very own “master of the needle and thread” around for those minor cuts and scrapes, can really help. You can keep that extra money in your pocket book, instead of giving it to overpriced hospitals.
6. When you call her at work, you won’t have to deal with all of the drama of her holding an office job. That’s right; those corpses don’t care if she gets back from lunch a few minutes late. There are no workers to interrupt her while she is on the phone with you. You don’t get the background noise of an office full of women while you are talking on the phone to her. Nothing but peace and quiet.
7. She can help you prepare the bar-b-q pit for the Labor Day festivities. She is after all, trained to cremate people. That’s about as hot a fire as you’ll ever need for a few steaks and chicken.
8. And finally, size won’t matter. I mean, at this job, you will have seen all types of people and probably realize that only models and playboys have six pack abs. It’s just not normal for people to have 2% body fat.
I definitely see all of these as plusses and can’t even think of one single minus. Maybe they are right when the say that “all the good ones are taken.” Little did I know that “the good ones” were stuffing people for a living.
1. Your family will never have to pay someone to do their make-up on special occasions. Who could be better suited to “make-up” the family women before those school dances and family photos? This is, after all, a person who is trained to make even the dead look “alive”.
2. I’m not sure exactly how they prepare a body, as I have never been back there to see, but I’m sure it can’t be that different from taxidermy. This being said, if you are a hunter or fisherman, you have a lifetime supply of “freebies” to get your outdoor trophies mounted. If taxidermy isn’t in the realm of her expertise, at least she can make your trophy deer look “as peaceful as if it was sleeping” next to the fireplace.
3. There really is nothing you can do that will “gross out” your mortician-mate. If the bathroom stinks….so what? It isn’t like she doesn’t smell the odor of death throughout the day. I’m pretty sure that you could even forget to flush and she wouldn’t give it a second thought. ( I hear that you soil yourself when you die)
4. Look at the money your family could save during their “time of loss.” Funerals are very expensive, and I can’t think of a better time to get a “brother-in-law” deal.
5. How about those minor emergency room bills you will save on? Having your very own “master of the needle and thread” around for those minor cuts and scrapes, can really help. You can keep that extra money in your pocket book, instead of giving it to overpriced hospitals.
6. When you call her at work, you won’t have to deal with all of the drama of her holding an office job. That’s right; those corpses don’t care if she gets back from lunch a few minutes late. There are no workers to interrupt her while she is on the phone with you. You don’t get the background noise of an office full of women while you are talking on the phone to her. Nothing but peace and quiet.
7. She can help you prepare the bar-b-q pit for the Labor Day festivities. She is after all, trained to cremate people. That’s about as hot a fire as you’ll ever need for a few steaks and chicken.
8. And finally, size won’t matter. I mean, at this job, you will have seen all types of people and probably realize that only models and playboys have six pack abs. It’s just not normal for people to have 2% body fat.
I definitely see all of these as plusses and can’t even think of one single minus. Maybe they are right when the say that “all the good ones are taken.” Little did I know that “the good ones” were stuffing people for a living.
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