The Holy McGrail

“Big Mac / Filet O Fish / Quarter Pounder / French Fries / Icy Coke / Thick Shake / Sundaes and Apple Pies” Do you remember this catchy rhyme that McDonalds used during the eighties? I have often wondered why there was never any mention of the McRib Sandwich. I have been a combo meal buying fool for almost forty years now, (not all of them by choice, as I will explain later), and have never grasped the reason(s) that this particular sandwich never received the status it deserved.


As a child, nothing pleased me more than a hamburger or box of chicken nuggets from Mickey Dees. We did not eat out a lot so this was always a treat. But somehow after hundreds, maybe thousands of McCombo meals my taste buds rarely become excited when they see the golden arches. I am now a parent and my children also “crave”, as I did when I was their age, old Ronald’s menu. So, when I have lost the battle of where our “next potential heart attack” will come from, like many other parents, I too must find something that I can stomach on their McMenu. For me, it is the McRib. There is just one problem with my decision. The McRib is only a seasonal menu item. It seems that as fast as it McGraces us with its BBQ flavor, it quickly disappears for no known reason. Which always leaves me wondering……………………… MCWHY???

Why is it that the McDonald’s McRib extravaganza cannot last all year? Is there a special season that the sacred McAnimals can only be hunted? Maybe there is a tightly regulated Mclimit on these magical McBeasts which limits supply to the worldwide demand. I have even envisioned that the processing plant that “McMolds” these McRiblets has an extremely short expiration date on their product and it takes a whole year to “regenerate” for the next McBatch of “almost meat molds.” Surely there is no possible way that this shortage has anything to do with the unique McBuns. What about the McBBQ sauce that the rib-like product is swimming in? I suppose there is the possibility that the sauce is made from rare McHerbs and McSpices that are harvested in a secret South American jungle next to the McPickle and McOnion farm.

Either way, there just isn’t a front running answer to the McShortage of McRibs. My days of enjoying McNuggets are far behind me, and my children have passed the age of “Happy Meal Amazement.” If McDonalds wants to keep a long time customer coming back in the McFuture, they need to rethink the whole McRib “season.” With all of the new fast food chains popping up every day, I am sure that I can satisfy my taste buds somewhere McElse.